In The Beginning

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He was charming, he told me I was beautiful, bought me pretty things. He was a little jealous but I was young and found it flattering. After marriage the emotional abuse started almost immediately. Then came the financial, etc. I kept telling myself, oh he’s going through a hard time is all.”

I try to find the good in everyone. It gets me into trouble 😜. I really couldn’t fathom this man, my husband, actually being a cruel person. After all who could say these awful things to another human being Nd not feel guilty?

We later had two boys and things just got worse. Affairs, the constant bashing, calling me names in front of my boys, leaving us with no money or formula while he went to work and a girlfriend’s house, took my son to an affair!

I shake to this day about that one. As a matter of fact I totalled my car into a massive neighborhood gate after finding that one out. There was video…. Thank God no kids were in car and I was fine. But that is just an example of what they do to your mind, your everything! So pls if u see signs run! Take a stand! Be heard!

They may, in fact, speak very kind words to you. And appear nothing but supportive to those around you. Their covert abuse is administered in small, cunning ways over time. So the impact is gradual, not fist-to-the-eye immediate.” Augusten Burroughs

I wish every Judge, Lawyer, etc. Had to…

I wish everyone involved in the court system had to Research and learn about the insane, heartbreaking effects narsassic parents can cause their children.

When a narsassit wins in court, even if it’s less than joint custody they will use it to drive the other parent crazy and will use the children in awful ways. The other parent then becomes a frightened “mother bear” and freaks. What do u do to protect your babies when the court can’t see it? The court hears his lies and has never seen the ugly truth you have. It’s scary. No one wins.

So I’m hoping to reach anyone out there and ask them to please educate yourself on this real problem. It’s big, it seems to be happening more and more, and it’s time we all take notice.

So what does a narsassit do to hurt your children besides the obvious?

Damages to the Child

In human development, the child-parent bond can be extremely strong. If a healthy relationship and bond has developed, there is not much that will keep a child from their parent. Not even one parent trying to ‘brainwash’ a child against the other parent is very credible at all as a possibility involving a child declining to have contact with a parent. Some in the field consistently underestimate children’s ego strength and feel that they are always simply clay in the hands of the NPD parent. A child’s public behaviors may not reflect their private thoughts, understandings, and genuine loyalties. The truth is that NPD parents will often complain about ‘parental alienation’ coming from the other parent, and is the one who has done the most to alienate the child from themselves, not the other parent. So, when a child is refusing to have contact with the NPD parent, and the other parent is taken to court to blame for this, it is a true ‘red herring’. A close look at the child’s complaints will reveal the truth.

Placing a child on the witness stand (in front of the NPD parent, of course), plays right into the hands of the delighted NPD. Most people not versed in this disorder have no clue of how clever, powerful, and abusive an NPD parent is, and how absolutely terrified the child is and how totally under the NPD’s control they are. All the NPD has to do is look at the child, and the child will ‘fold’ under any questions, agreeing with the NPD’s version of things. (My son got the look a lot)

Essentially, in comparison to the power of the NPD parent, the child has no confidence at all that the court has their (the child’s) interest or safety at heart, or that the court even remotely has the ability to protect them from the NPD. In truth, to the child (and the ex), the NPD has the power of God. Really.

The level of psychological abuse, manipulation, true brainwashing, terrorizing, demoralizing, self-esteem destroying that an NPD parent does to their child is hard to wrap your head around. NPD’s seem to be born with the skills of the best torturer imaginable. There is no polite way to put it: when a court insists that a resisting child have contact with the NPD, the court is participating in child abuse. Kids are not property to be divided, and they have brains. If a child is refusing to have contact with a parent, look very closely at that parent.

Breaking Free!

I don’t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your self out of a poisonous relationship. Don’t devalue yourself because someone else did. This painting expresses the struggle and the coming free slowly but surely! I have my story but yours could be different. Many can relate to hard times in life and needing to break free. This woman is looking up with her arms held high as she’s stepping out of the darkness and into the light.

The killer of the whole thing

The narsassit and his family fail to notice the damage they cause the children involved. My step son had massive issues as did my nephew from this side. Both walk on tip toes at age 8. Both have anger issues and low self-esteem issues. I could go on and on. The research I did says verbal abuse cause changes in the brain. Causing issues down the line. The proof is in the pudding.